The 22 Forbidden Laws of Rugby — EXPOSED!

The official record of the unofficial.

Rugby has a dirty little secret. The eighty minutes? That's the least interesting part. The real game starts when the cameras switch off — when somebody looks around the room, waits for the outsiders to leave, and quietly says, "Boys… this never happened."

ScrumAtMe doesn't expose any of it. We celebrate it. We take the rumour, the chemical, the catastrophe, the "she said WHAT to your wife," and we polish it into legend. The truth, sponsored by denial, refereed by no one — and absolutely, definitely: this never happened.

Read in your language

🇬🇧 English · Part 1 AMAZON → 🇬🇧 English · Part 2 AMAZON → 🇯🇵 日本語 · Japanese AMAZON → 🇫🇷 Français · French AMAZON →

What's inside

confessions, not statistics

The substances that were "definitely not on the premises." The tackle that wasn't a tackle.

The alibi held together by the silence of eleven others — and a story that begins "now, technically she was nobody's girlfriend at the time."

The white that definitely came off the touchline paint and not, under any circumstances, anywhere near a cistern.

The flanker swears he scored. The prop swears he pulled. The fly-half swears he was home by ten.

The signed affidavit of men who cannot be trusted to remember their own jersey number.

The technical side explains what happened. The clubhouse explains why. Somewhere between the two lies the truth.

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Questions

What languages is it in?

English (Parts 1 & 2), Japanese and French — all available on Amazon above.

Where do I buy it?

On Amazon. Pick your edition in the "Read in your language" buttons above and it takes you straight there.

Is it based on real rugby?

Real facts, weaponised into comedy. The technical side explains what happened; the clubhouse explains why — and somewhere between the two lies the truth (or at least a version entertaining enough to become club history).

Will there be more?

More from ScrumAtMe is coming. New editions and titles will drop on this page first — join the Army in the footer to hear it first.

More books coming. New titles and editions from the ScrumAtMe clubhouse land here — this page is built to grow.